Slow Poke Snail

Ugh i should start a group called slow poke snail and united all those with slow computers, my computer is being so so slow today i was trying to watch a but now thats not going to happen. So im going to pop in season 4 disc set of supernatural and watch that instead. I cant stand the sound fragments and the slow loading things, so i quit.

Trying to watch my show is like watching a flower grow.

Oh and it should be noted that i should be (or should not im not telling) reading books for school, since its reading week and all…but whatever.

My list includes: The Portrait of a Lady, Complete Stories of Flannery O’conner, Oryx and Crake, Under the Volcano, Walt Whitman poems, To the Lighthouse and The Bell.

Plus i have a 1800 word essay for Canadian Fiction on comparing two books due next next week, a holocaust major assignment proposal, an American Lit research assignment of about 10 pages and a midterm. But whatever i have all week, until i realize sunday night before school starts up again, that i did like no work and that im screwed, but thats not for another 7 days. So go me.

Merry Xmas to all and to all a good night!

~carnessie

A Darker Place

Hey,

so this is another poem that i wrote, i have quite a few that i am working on, as school seems to be getting more and more intense (university ends at the end of march, so its all major assignments and tests now) i seem to be getting a little more creative, i think its due to all the pressue, sometimes doing something completly random helps to ease the way and help to calm me. Its quite nice that my idea of a break is to write things down, because then i have something to show for my “breaks”.

This poem is a little darker than some of the other stuff i have written, and it deals with painful memories of someone i know, and this is how i interpreted their pain and how i can hope to share it with others in this form. I wrote it with that idea in mind, that it could help to show the hopelessness people experience in their darkest hours. Although i hope you can interpret it to suit your own personal meaning, and you can enjoy it for what it can mean to you.

Stained Memories

My hands are stained

With the mess you left behind

These walls are closing in

A journey to the past

Brings up painful memories

At the back of my mind

I wonder

Why i ever let you in?

You fill my soul with impurites

You corrupt my heart with hate

 

My mind flees to dark places

While i’m left to stare at bloody hands

Stained with the mess

You couldnt stay to clean up

As you walked away alone

Leaving me in a puddle of shame

I wonder

If my days are numbered?

The pieces of my body’s sin

Lay scattered on the floor

 

The memories i push away

Are remembered in every movement

So that as i search for peace

I only encounter you

My hands lay stained at my side

Scrubed raw with dark memories

I wonder

How i got to this point?

The past i cannot forget

The future can no longer be imagined

~carnessie

Lost Faith

Another poem that i wrote in class, when i should have been taking notes…Whoops

Anyways this poem is about discovery, and how as you grow up you learn that the people you thought were everything, turned out to be just people. That the people you always looked up to for the answers to everything are no more great than a random stranger on the street. So its about realization of growing up. Its like discovering Clark Kent is JUST Clark Kent, and there is no Superman behind the ordinary man.

Losing My Faith

I use to go to you

Whenever i got stuck

You use to be my answer

So i never looked it up

 

I use to think you bright

That you could comprehend

All the questions in this world

That i could think up

 

I use to hold you high

As a person who knew all there was to see

You use to be my idol

But those notions have since failed me

 

I use to think you wise

But i have since recognized

That as i grew and saw the world

You were not who i imagined you to be

 

I use to believe your every word

Now when you speak you cant be heard

Your word no longer hold the power

To make me believe in this dire hour

 

I use to do a lot of things

Since then i have changed and learned

Nothings like it use to be

And we will never go back to you and me

 

~carnessie

 

 

 

NEWS101

OK,

so my news is that i had a list of things “to do” before the end of this year, and im getting them done! woot woot, i realize it may not be as exciting to you as it is to me, but i am honestly really excited that im doing some stuff that i want to do, instead of looking back on the year and being “gah what a waste of a year!”

Italy! See i can do interesting things too...LOL

i have an individual list of things to do, but my friend and i came up with a list of things we should do together and its hilarious!

The list is called “A sad and depression list of achievable things to do” haha Cause it kinda is, these are no big dreams let me warn you in advance…

  1. Read Pride and Prejudice and Zombies/Alice in Wonderland the original by summer time (make note that summer is super broad time frame could be anywhere from may-august)
  2. Watch a musical TOGETHER by march (i have already seen two since we wrote this list, but since it wasnt TOGETHER it technically doesnt count towards the “list”)
  3. Find a new hobby/collection (this is great idea i recommend to everyone, you find something you all generally like, or have interest in and you make it a group hobby, our last big one was buttons!)
  4. Buy things for the new hobby/collection (this ensures we spend a lot of money, but also, it helps us reach 10+ things on the “list” LOL)
  5. Go clubbing TOGETHER (once again, we have issues about doing things as a group, we hang out pretty often, but we dont tend to do things as a group, except kareoke we did that!)
  6. Spend one outing without talking about  A. Twilight   B. School Problems   C. Supernatural/Gay Boys (haha this is actually way harder than you would think! The C. kinda pertains to me only but whatever i love my J2 :p we dont even love twilight – i like the books – but we seem to talk about it every outing! so this is a huge challange for us)
  7. Buy matching accessories for two of us, but not for the third and flaunt it (one of our members really wants us to have matching things, and its like this big joke, so one day we will buy matching things and laugh about it)
  8. Go shopping at a different place (what can i say we are creatures of habit, we tend to go to the same mall over and over again…)
  9. Go to some sort of class (and by this we mean a fun class, salsa dancing, pottery, cartoon drawing…something random and fun)
  10. Get to know each other much better (we have been friends for almost 10 years and we played a game to see how much we really knew about each other, without stating the obvious things, and we found out we really dont know each other very well, and all suck at being friends)

And there you have the 10 things, that we want to accomplish as a group before i guess this year ends, or maybe the summer time (the very vague summer timeline). It may not be as exciting as some of your own to do lists, but i warned you in advance, plus this is super fun for us, and if you read the title it has to fall under “achievable” so there it is.

~carnessie

One of them now…

OK, so i have a couple of blogs that i regulary frequent, and i check for updates during the week (this may or may not mean i check for updates everyday, but i admit to nothing!) and im always wondering why they are not posting more awesomeness on a regular basis. So when i started this blog, im like i will post everyday! i will be awesome….

I seem to think life will work out like a fairy tale does...

Turns out the reason you cant post everyday is cause life gets in the way…who would have thought?!

So i went back and looked at all my posts and realized that the first month (like 3 months ago LOL) i posted like a mad women, but then slowly i posted less and less, and i cant even say i was super busy or anything, i just got lazy!

Although having a blog does make me look at the world a little differently, like “hummm how could i write about this moment and make it sound interesting?” LOL

Chalk drawings are super exciting!

Oh and i have some amazing photos to post, but i lost my charger and therefore i suck, and cannot charge my camera battery and i cannot upload pics and i cant take more pictures, which is really getting me down…and i just dont know where it could be…honestly im much better at not losing things than this…i dont know whats going on.

SO here is my ode to why i dont post things everyday like i wanted to… YAY life!

PS i may or may not suppose to be in class right now.. (dont tell anyone!)

~carnessie

The School Weekly

Yea…so this is def not going to be weekly hahah its just for this one time i think, but who knows…

SO my friends and i were walking and talking last night and heres what we came up with….

Why does it seem like the year is flying by? isnt the saying time flies when you’re having a good time? well im a university student my life is miserable! shouldnt time be moving extra slow? LOL

We always have this false sense of security in night classes, cause you dont have to wake up early for them, you can sleep in and go to class at night LOL i know real creative name, night class happens at night….anyways each year im like im going to take night classes, they’re better, and then when im in them im like what was i thinking? night classes are late at night, its dark, and cold and i want to be in bed not in a 3 hour lecture! and so remind me when signing up for classes next year NOT to take night classes….they suck

People who talk to the prof in class are morons, because we could not care less what your opinion is on the book, or that you’ve read it a couple of times, where im about 1/4 through, or that you did extra reading on top of this huge ass book! WE DONT CARE STOP TALKING, nothing annoys me more than when one or more people decide their opinion is needed all the time, its not BTW!  Seriously its more than me, there is a collective groan whenever this crazy person opens her mouth to spew shit…Gawd go to office hours and talk to the prof then…no one wants to hear you rant alll the time, and stop over reading make the rest of us look bad!

We also hate morning class, anything at 11am or before, forget it…too early even if you live around the corner, no one wants to pretend to be smart that early in the morning…so the best time to be signing up for classes is 12pm-5pm and that is all…which is plenty of time, but its finding good classes that fit INTO that time slot…which is in itself a whole nother problem.

We all agree that the cost of university food is way to high for the quality and the amount, but since we are limited to in between classes, and limited selection, we are stuck with what they give us…which is not fun. Plus some university places only take cash, and im sorry i live off debit and visa, cause plastic rules the world, no one carries cash with them anymore, no one in university has cash, just borrowed money…so please please please put in some debit machines!  You will get more buisness!

Ok so im sure you guys have all seen these people who stand on the side of the street and like try and talk to you, there are the sick kids ones, and green peace and a bunch of others, and they stand with folders so when you walk by you can be like no thanks and move one, but now they have these people who sit and “look” like normal people, and they call you over, and im like ok maybe they need directions and they are like come here, im not crazy i promise, and im like ok…just tell me where you need to go so i can move on, and they spend so much time trying to convince me of their intentions, and then they say…you look like someone who likes the spa, we’re offering…and im off LOL  cause seriously i dont want what you are selling, i will help you find a class, but dont pretend you have other motives and bullshit me and then try and sell me something! YOU CANT BULLSHIT A BULLSHITTER I CALL YOUR BULLSHIT! seriously i dont want your shitty offers, leave me alone, i have to buy like food to survive and books for school, there is no excess of money that i am willing to give to you. Stop targetting poor university students, we have no money, get a clue, move on.

Other than that, it seems like university students tend to be lured in to buying pretty not winter boots, and so we all slip and slide and fall on our butts in the street and in the slippery halls….which is super fun. University students for the win, we choose pretty over practical…but i swear there are others, not just me! LOL

Have fun at school sweetie! Ugggggh yea well fuck you!

~carnessie

My To Do List

Christmas is coming, the geese are getting fat, I have to buy presents to put into people hats….Or something like that.

Well im dreaming of a white christmas…I am really, im just not dreaming of a white all month long thats the difference, i would love it to snow on christmas day and well for the rest of the time, i would like it to be warm and sunny, im not asking for like really hot or anything, no i am just asking for warm, like sweater weather. I think thats quite reasonable to ask.

I have way to much to do and snow kind of hinders any going out and having fun that i can do…LOL

My TO DO list look something like this

  1. christmas shopping with a very small limited budget
  2. dinner with friends to keep up the christmas cheer
  3. sleep all day and enjoy my time off from school
  4. eat food that someone else cooked
  5. sleep some more, cause bears hibernate why cant i?
  6. watch old TV shows and movies that i missed during the year, or have a couple marathons or both

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!

~carnessie

[(100+100)x 2]+[(200-100+300)-400]

So ta da math = fun for everyone

LOL

Not really, but whatever…it should equal 400 cause we have 400 visitors! yay I really hope it equals 400, how sad would that be that the math problem i made up didnt even make sense…story of my life.

So its gift time again, at 100 we gave cookies (to the dark side), at 200 we gave out love, at 300 we gave out jensen ackles in a box, and so at 400 we are giving out…

FREE ADVICE!

Smoking is bad for your health the sidewalk tells me so.

Although drinking it good for you, i could use a drink right now, something strong cause i feel like a zombie, attributing to the fact its the last week of school before my xmas break! WOOT WOOT but im the meantime i have simply given up on trying at all, which not so good, since i still have a midterm to do…

SO yea i could use a drink…but no smoking. And if your going to drink do it right, Tequila shots all the way! Hope this advice helps…

Thanks for viewing! Comments are love.

~carnessie

Food for thought

Ok, so these are the things i do when im working on essays or trying to get my ideas flowing:

Smart Food popcorn in the hopes that it makes me smart by eating it…

YUM

Tea – lots and lots of tea…we dont have a coffee maker here, and i dont always want to run to starbucks for coffee every hour…so i make due with tea in large amounts…LOL

(i just realized i … so much… haha why?)

music – playing all the time, usually the radio cause i like the varitety of it…although sometimes i end up distracted cause i sing along instead of work…but whatever

Notebooks – i have the random ideas notebook, to jot random ideas down, i have the one im activly writing my essay on and as well i have one that just has blank paper to draw on when i feel stuck…

Many TO DO lists – i wouldnt survive without these, i have like 4 and all of them are around me all the time, i take joy in checking off things when i complete them although i usually put really east things on them so that i get to check them off, like: eat, go downstairs for pen, find pants LOL yea cause it helps me write but it also works as a procrastination tool, and i need lots of those.

THIS EXACTLY

Clean my room – helps me relax when im super tense and unfocused, sometimes a clean room helps to waken me up…

Text people to see what they are doing, and then talk to them a while

Facebook check

Agenda – i like to check it regularly and stare at it, to see what i have coming up and i count the days i have left to do things, and sometimes it helps to get my ass moving…sometimes…

watch some old movies or tv, in order to get the brain flowing…

read J2 stories

Genius right here!

Post Random things on blog – as i am doing right now…LOL

So what do you do??

~carnessie